Natural States

See it as you will,
It’s in no way wrong or right,
Just due to who I am, how I’m made,
I’m firmly anchored in the light,
It’s no fight to stay here,
Just an act of nature,
As is your dance with darkness,
Doh-see-dohing twixt night and day,
Keeping black dogs at bay,
Not a choice, but a natural state,
To which I can sometimes relate,
Though not really understand,
I can stretch forth my hand…….

My Box of Ignorance

Despite all the pain I left behind,
Every now and then you cross my mind.
Yet, these thoughts aren’t the unwelcome kind.

I feel neither hatred, nor bitterness anew.
I’ve got far better things to do,
Than waste my time and energy on hating you.

I wonder if you’ve changed or are just the same?
Still burning in the fire of Jealousy’s flame.
And committing selfish acts in its spiteful name.

When first we met what laughs we had!
Yes, you were a bit controlling but not that bad,
And the happy times far outnumbered the sad.

Yet, over the years your jealousy became a curse.
And your controlling nature just got worse and worse.
Your selfish arrogance more difficult to disperse.

And despite the abuse increasing more and more,
And all the other women that I chose to ignore,
I tolerated it and stayed because that’s what I was for.

And because that was box that my life was in.
When I went inside, I was cut off from the pain.
Once I was safe inside, no need to come out again.

But you didn’t keep me prisoner in that box, I did.
From all the looks and all the words of pity, there I hid.
And then one day I cautiously opened up the lid.

I saw a world out there without you at its center.
At first it seemed more or less impossible to enter.
For I had all of your wants and requirements to tend to.

But then I started looking outside that box more often.
And eventually my resolve to stay in there began to soften.
Until one day I realized that my box was now my coffin.

Something is very wrong, I said, something is amiss.
I think my life was meant to be so much more than this.
So I stepped outside and left behind my box of ignorance.


The comfortable box,
With its well worn thoughts,
I’m inside though I’ve often denied it,
I tumbled in there,
Not fully aware,
Of the patterns I found there inside it,
Boxes I have known,
I’ve found while I’ve grown,
Were a challenge though I still could break out,
This one I’ve just found,
Has long been around,
Left me struggling with what it’s about,
It’s put me to the test,
Larger than the rest,
Encompassing what I’d not considered,
Patterns long instilled,
Leaving life unfulfilled,
And many relationships withered,
Some friends who know me,
Could probably see,
(On the outside they can be objective)
On the other hand I,
As years have gone by,
Have been blinded and rather selective,
Now I’ve let in the light,
After struggle and fight,
From this box I will finally break free,
With thinking that’s new,
I’ll expand my view,
Of what love and relations can be.


Curse these stages I’m going through,
Wonder if it’s the same for you,
Sometimes I find I question why,
Then I try to deny it’s true,

Then anger comes and I lash out,
My pain and hurt I write about,
I know in time it will subside,
Then I’ll hide and just want to pout,

I’ll muse, and my thoughts rearrange,
Looking for something I could change,
Trying to rework the equation,
Of a situation that feels strange,

I’ll work things through and with new eyes,
In time will come to realise,
That our chance has both come and passed,
It didn’t last – we’ve said goodbyes.