Since leaving the familiarity of the United States for the tangled alien landscape of Japan in early 2004, I’ve become a bit of a mystery and definitely a source of frustration for the folks back home. People call me adventurous but my decision to leave was more practical and mundane than a desire to “see the world.” The real reason I left was for work and also, partially to get out of a really shitty relationship. Alas, moving half way around the world wasn’t far enough and my ex decided to come with me in order to prolong the misery for another year and a half.
When my time in Japan (and bad relationship) finally came to an end, I did something completely crazy, reckless, and yeah, kind of stupid. I moved to Sweden as a so-called love immigrant. Nobody saw that coming, least of all me. There aren’t very many immigrants from English-speaking countries here, but most of us fall into the categories of having come here for 1. work or 2. love. Obviously I’m in the latter category. We’re a closely knit group and I’ve made some incredible friends during my time in this mostly cold and dark land.
After struggling through a series of part-jobs for over four years, I now work at a Swedish upper-secondary school as full-time English and Art teacher and part-time secretary. After nearly six years in Sweden I still haven’t quite mastered the language, so my work can be challenging and often frustrating. However, despite the difficulties and the oft-repeated “so, when are you coming home?” queries from my American kinsmen, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. Tyvärr.
Random Misanthrope 
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I’m glad you’re enjoying Sweden so far! It’s quite strange because the two places I’ve always wanted to go to are Japan and the US and you have lived there. My time will hopefully come…
Cool story. Good luck!
Actually it was MY idea to go to Japan, Gwen. You were reluctant at first. And who was in the shitty relationship? You cheated on me a year into our relationship while you were living at my parent’s place. You often flirted with other guys, and I caught you having dinner at a transvestite’s house after you told me you were going to the mall to go shopping. We stayed at my parents’ and later when we moved out I payed all the rent for 5 years. I was the one who found other places for us to live. You always followed me. You were working at a coffee shop in a small town on the coast. I brought you to the city. Got you to go to school, eventually you graduated, and after that I got the idea to move to Japan because I have family there. You were hardly the independent, adventurous woman — pretty dependent (and rather emotionally unstable from the very beginning). Oh, and the guy you are with now in Sweden? You had nude Net chats with him in OUR apartment in Japan before you took off to join him in Sweden and get into your next codependent / alcohol fueled relationship. I’m glad I look ten years younger than my age and I’m keeping fit because I can just write off the 9 years we were together as if they never happened. However, as for the way you look now… God I’m glad I never married you.
The Ex
The EIC/HBIC is not amused by your bullshit. As Kitten’s BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFForreaslsiesand5evah, I ain’t buyin whatchu sellin, yo. That said, I do luv me sum gud ass fikshun from tiem to tiem so imma gonna let you finnish KANNNNNYE. Then imma gonna make you mah little beeotch slave cause I bes all cunty like that and shit.
PS: I’m like totes adorbs and mah titties are like huuuuuge.
PPS: Wanna go on a date mebbe? I make some real cabbage and shit and me mommy’s got tha real benjamins. Like Jay-Z and Beeeeeyonce be bowin’ down to her and shizzznit.
Talk you later sexxxxxxxxxy boyyyyyyfriendddddd!!!!