Neurotic Christmas

We have an uneasy, awkward,
Relationship with happiness.
As if Being Happy is wrong.
Offensive to those living
In poverty and despair.
Remember the Band Aid boys,
Guilt-tripping everyone,
For having a good time?
Oh, how could you? For shame!
For daring to enjoy Christmas,
When others are suffering?
If you’re not already
A miserable bastard,
You’ll surely be one,
By the end of this song.
Why, thanks guys.
I was about to have fun,
But you caught it just in time.

Being Happy

There are times when I’d rather be,
Anyone but plain old me.
Like, maybe a celebrity.

An actress on a TV show!

To all the private clubs I’d go.
Designer clothes from head to toe.
And everyone would love my shoes.

Just think of all the weight I’d lose!

They’d talk about me on the news.
Throwing tantrums on the set.
Flashing my girly parts on the ‘net.

Perhaps I’m not ready for that yet…