America: The Greatest Show in the World

We Americans love a good show. Little do we know that we are actually part of the show now. Other people from around the world are watching our slow decline into a Third World nation. While we are busy arguing about the “big issues” like abortion, gay marriage, and evolution; our roads are being unpaved, we are becoming poorer, and more stupid. As the old Carl Sagan remarked in his book, Cosmos, we have more astrologists and psychics than astronomers. And why wouldn’t we, after all, astronomy requires serious thinking? Better to go with the gut feeling of an astrologist.

Just look at your newspaper, one-third of the newspaper is comprised of the sports pages these days! In fact, there’s more sports coverage than foreign news coverage! A whole page is devoted to a home run, while a suicide bomber in Afghanistan killing two Marines gets a paragraph. Charlie Sheen’s Truth Tour gets more exposure than a top general in Iraq discussing rebuilding efforts. The sad thing is we don’t realize that this is happening to us. And if we do, we don’t seem to care as long as the circus continues and we are “pacified” with cheap trinkets from China or entertainment in the form of Snooki. Never mind that Snooki got more money for giving a talk at Rutgers University than Nobel-Fucking-Prize-Winning-and-I-Got-A-Damned-Pulitzer-Too Toni Morrison! How the hell did that happen?

Richard Hofstadter wrote a book entitled Anti-Intellectualism in American Life back in 1963. If you haven’t read this book, I highly suggest you pick it up at your local public library. That’s if you still have a public library! In his book, Hofstadter laments the poor state of the American intellectual, and how he must contend with a rising tide of stupidity coming from his fellow countrymen. That’s a paraphrase of course, and a pretty dumbed down version of things, but hopefully it’s easy enough for people to understand.

Anyhow, I’m off to plan my vacation trip to the Creation Museum, and maybe I’ll swing by Dollywood as well.

Word of the Day: nostalgia

Interestingly, today’s word was once upon a time considered a medical condition.

Back in 1668, German Physician Johannes Hofer coined the word and defined it as “severe homesickness.” It is derived from the Greek words nostos (homecoming) and algos (pain). I never really thought about it before but the word nostalgia does look and sound like some kind of disease or disorder. (See: myalgia)

The more modern definition of nostalgia as a sort of wistful longing for the past was first recorded in 1920. Nowadays however, the word can also be defined as not necessarily a desire to return to the past, but simply an appreciation for it.

Naturally, this means that the nostalgic tend to look at their particular favorite time in the past through rose-colored glasses, seeing only the good things and disregarding the bad. For example, many people these days long for the simpler times before cell phones and broadband internet connections, but of course they tend to forget how much harder life was back then.

Somehow I got through high school and most of college having used actual books, magazines, and microfiche/film as research material for reports and papers. I remember typing high school homework assignments on a Smith Corona typewriter. Sure, the internet was around in the mid-90s when I started college, but it was all as new and wild as an Old West frontier town. Many of my professors and teachers did not entirely trust the content on the internet (and rightly so) and therefore they simply would not accept internet-based sources.

The young people of today tend to not appreciate how easy they have it, but it’s not at all their fault. Just as Generation Xers like me cannot remember a time when there was no television, the Generation Y kids cannot remember a time when there was no internet.

They were born into the information age.

Stay tuned…

The guilt of the working mom

I’m sitting in the hospital waiting room and The Today Show is playing on one of the TVs. The ladies are discussing the “guilt of the working mom,” whatever the hell that means. Maybe it’s because I’m a guy, but I don’t understand why women would feel guilty about working and not staying home with their children. I don’t mind dropping the boys off and heading to work. In fact I could drop them off permanently and come back when they are fully-developed adults. Okay so that’s a bit extreme even for me.

Still, I don’t think anybody should feel guilty about providing for their children’s future. But perhaps it’s different for some people, they feel like they will miss some major milestone in their child’s development or something: their baby’s first step, spoken word, ad nauseum; if they are not in their child’s life every nanosecond. I did get to experience both those things and I can honestly say they are overrated. Now that I think about it, I don’t even remember what my firstborn said. Luckily moms remember those kinds of things.

I don’t really have anything against these people, I just feel like women in general need to give themselves a break and know that they are good mothers and that leaving their children for a few hours is okay. These ladies talking about guilt are not doing anybody any favors and might even make women feel worse about themselves. Just my 2 cents…

The Judge Killed the Bibliophile Dream

I had a dream, and so did Google. The dream was that all the libraries in the world, their archives, their shelves would be scanned by Google and uploaded to a digital world collection, available to everybody ─ for a cost of course. I’m fine with paying for such a service if it would mean access to rare collections and to books that would be hard to find and get to physically. But sadly a judge put an end to that dream. I suppose he had some good reasons for his ruling: copyright infringement, privacy concerns, etc. Still, for just a few moments I thought I could just pull up a book that I wanted online, and send it to an on-demand Espresso Book Machine and have a copy of it! Sadly that is not the case now. RIP Google book project.

Word of the Day: bliss

Today’s word is another feeling, more or less the antonym of the word I discussed in an earlier post. Bliss is defined as a state of supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment. In abstract terms, that is. The dictionary defines bliss but it doesn’t discuss what it actually is.

But how could it? Bliss is a very subjective thing and nothing and no one can really tell you how to get it.

You just have to take the late mythologist Joseph Campbell‘s advice and “follow your bliss.” Of course you have to figure out what your bliss is before you can start following it…

So I’ll open this discussion up to the group. What’s blissful to you?

I’ll go first.

Sitting in the sun next to the sea on a warm but breezy afternoon always puts me into a state of bliss. However, sitting with my friends at a table holding up many pints of beer is another blissful experience, albiet a completely different one.

Okay, your turn.

…until next time.

Word of the Day: nerds and geeks and dorks, oh my….

There are a lot of nerd-geek-dork pages on the internet. Examples can be found here, here, and at this page, where the differences between the three are illustrated with a venn diagram. These three terms are often used interchangeably, and quite erroneously, by the ignorant populars and other stupids who are just too cool use Wikipedia. Therefore, as someone who has never been cool and easily fits into all three categories (depending on the situation), I thought I’d try my hand at explaining the differences between the three.

As a service to all the cools, of course.

At the top of the hierarchy is the nerd. A nerd usually possesses a particular aptitude for engineering, science, or computer-related stuff. For example, a computer-type nerd knows everything about computers and can tell you what every single part of a computer does. He or she can build you a computer from the bottom up without looking at any instructions. Nerds can solve any engineering-related problem. Additionally, nerds are often highly educated and have remarkable memories. They have skills that are highly desirable, marketable, and bankable. Thus, many nerds are rich.

Somewhere in between the dork and nerd is the geek. One thing to keep in mind is that nerds can also be geeks, but not all geeks can be nerds. While a geek might possess an encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek, as well as an extensive collection of Star Wars action figures, he’s usually unemployed and spends most of his time playing World of Warcraft and alphabetizing his collection of Dragonlance novels. His own knowledge is too obscure to be of any practical value, so when his computer crashes he has to seek out help from a nerd.

Finally, at the bottom of the pile are the pure dorks. A dork is someone who does not possess any skills whatsoever. He’s into stuff that even geeks would consider a bit too geeky. A typical dork might collect lunch boxes. He is so socially awkward that the only friends he has are other dorks. Napoleon Dynamite is often cited as an example of the typical dork, but I would argue that his sweet dance moves move him up into the geek category. Maybe even all the way up to nerd.

Until next time.

Why, indeed.

I’m often asked by folks I’ve met,
A question I’ll not soon forget.
“So, why did you come here?” they say,
It’s much better in the USA.
California’s warm and bright,
While Sweden’s cold and dark as night.
The average Swede is icy too,
Might as well be a blonde igloo.
I see their point, and must confess,
I sometimes miss the old US.
But the fact is that I’m now stuck here,
So stop this torment and get me a beer.

Word of the Day: sorrow

Today’s word is a feeling. It’s similar to sadness but it has a different quality. Sadness is fleeting and shallow and easy to overcome. Tripping into a mud puddle while walking home in a downpour with no umbrella might make you sad. But a hot bath and a steaming mug of hot chocolate is all it takes to make your sadness disappear.

Sorrow, on the other hand, is not like tripping into a mud puddle.

Sorrow is like sinking into a deep inky black ocean. Its blackness envelops you as it pulls you down, down, down to the bottom.

The expression “drowning in sorrow” is a fairly accurate description of what it feels like. Often it takes a fully-mounted rescue operation to pull you out of it. But just remember that when you emerge from that deep ocean of pure sorrow, you’ll have a greater understanding and appreciation of pure joy.

“Sorrow is tranquillity remembered in emotion.”
Dorothy Parker

Being Drunk in Sweden

As a regular user of the City of Gothenburg’s signature trams, I’ve grown accustomed to seeing drunk people. Actually, drunk is really too weak an adjective to describe the condition of some of them. It needs help from a few verbs. Stumbling, slurring, slobbering, shit-faced drunk is more like it. This kind of drunken spectacle is seen regularly on the trams, but for some reason it’s less common on buses. I don’t recall ever seeing a loud, obnoxious and obviously drunk person on a bus. Apart from the so-called night bus that is, which should really be called the take-you-home-when-you’re-wasted-off-your-ass bus.

While I’m used to seeing drunks on the tram, I still find myself wondering what the hell is the deal with them. Have they no shame? Isn’t it illegal to be that drunk in public in Sweden? I know that to be drunk in public to that extent is completely illegal in the U.S.

Maybe this is why the Swedish government insists on the necessity of Systembolaget (Sweden’s infamous alcohol retail monopoly), as well as producing those anti-alcohol propaganda commercials that always air right after a commercial for some boozy product like Captain Morgan’s “Get a little Captain in you” Spiced Gold Rum (highly recommended, by the way…). The government claims that Systembolaget is essential because a number of highly biased studies have shown that it does regulate and restrict the amount of alcohol that one may purchase and consume, and thus it reduces instances of public drunkenness. Its limited hours are indeed very effective in limiting the amount of booze one may purchase. If you want to buy a bottle of wine or some regular beer after 2pm on Saturday then you are, as the saying goes, shit out of luck for the remainder of the weekend.

However, most people find various ways of working around the “system.” One can take one of the “booze cruise” ferries from Helsingborg or any other port that heads to Denmark or Germany. In fact, I’m planning on doing just that during Easter weekend. As soon as the boat exits Swedish waters, you are free to purchase cases of beer and large one-liter size bottles of liquor, both of which are unavailable at Systembolaget. I suppose the government just can’t allow the average Swedish resident to have access to that much booze. Naturally, we’d be powerless to prevent ourselves from consuming the entire liter bottle and all 24 cans of beer all at once. Because, you know, we’re stupid and the government is smart and knows what’s best for us.

And anyway, one can always go to a bar. For a country that really doesn’t want its citizens to get drunk, it sure does contain an awful lot of bars. Systembolaget closes its doors at the pitifully early hour of 6pm on Friday evening, and after that time every single bar in every single Swedish city is dispensing mass quantities of Swedish lager to just about every single Swede of legal drinking age.

Then a number of those people end up staggering onto some form of public transport to make their way home after their Friday night piss-up. And then people like me end up writing blog posts about them.

That is, if I’m not actually included in their numbers. *hic*

Swedish Police priorities

It seems that hardly a day goes by in Sweden that I don’t read about some woman being sexually assaulted, masked men with axes rob a bank, or there is a gang shooting. Growing up in Sweden I’m sure that we had crimes, but it seems to me that there are more crimes now than there used to be. Maybe that’s just me idealizing my carefree childhood, but still, times are changing. Common sense would dictate that a Rudolph Giuliani-style crime crackdown would be in order: prioritize catching the bad guys and getting them off the streets. But no, it seems Swedish cops are way too busy trying to catch speeders, do DUI enforcement, or even dancing!

Granted, all those things are important, but enforcing a winter tire law!!! WTF?

What the hell is a Winter Tire Law, you ask? Well, in Sweden between 16 April och 30 September, you are mandated to drive with summer tires, and the rest of the time, during the winter, you are supposed to drive with winter tires. Apparently this is a big thing in Sweden and the police are out in force making sure that Swedish drivers are in compliance or they will face a 500 SEK fine (approximately $80 USD dollars, 2011). When I moved to Sweden for grad school, I didn’t even know that there were separate tires for winter driving and summer driving. I had never heard of anybody in the United States changing their tires with the seasons. Well, except my old college roommate who lives in Ohio, but he’s German, so does that count? Anyhow, I’m glad that Swedish Police have their priorities, just give them some savory tarts and they will get right on it… solving trombone capers.