There are few constants in the world, and two of those are of pain and suffering. Pain is a wonderful thing. It reminds us that we are fallible and alive. If we did not feel pain, we would be dead. We must embrace pain, as we embrace failure. We must realize that we are utterly worthless and that trying to accomplish something worthwhile is an exercise in futility. Something will inevitable go wrong, the spoke of the wheel will fail, and the best-laid plans will falter under the enormous weight of reality. There is no redemption, there is no hope. Man ─ as he stands ─ is alone. His own thoughts will betray him, his body will decay, and time is neither his friend nor his enemy. Time, an artificial construct has made slaves of us all. Before the invention of the watch, the most despicable of devices, there was only night and day as measurement.
WOTD: pretty
Pretty is a funny word. By funny I don’t mean ‘haha’ funny but ‘weird’ funny. Come to think of it, funny is a funny word too and thus it may appear in a future WOTD post. But pretty is a funny word because it has more than one rhetorical meaning.
It’s primarily defined as an adjective that describes something aesthetically pleasing in appearance.For example: Those flowers are pretty. See how the word pretty as an adjective clearly modifies the plural noun flowers.
However, today’s word has a secondary rhetorical function as an adverb, which has much the same meaning as the words: very, really, quite and other similar words.
(This is where the funny part comes in.)
Since the word pretty can be used as an adverbial modifier, this means that the phrasal adjective “pretty ugly” makes perfect rhetorical sense and it is not at all an oxymoron. Even though it definitely looks like one.
Funny Weather
You’re feeling quite sprightly,
Cause the sun shines so brightly.
Then the sky looks unsightly.
And the clouds begin forming.
Then without any warning,
It starts pouring and storming.
A downpour that’s so huge,
It’s almost a deluge.
There’s no shelter, no refuge.
You proceed with teeth clenched,
And discomfort entrenched,
Getting more and more drenched.
It comes down in buckets.
You couldn’t be more wet.
Then it makes a quick exit.
Thus as quickly as it came,
Someone shuts off the rain,
But your wet clothes remain.
And the punchline to this joke,
When the sun comes out to poke,
Fun at the all the sad wet folk.
Raiders of The Lost Heart
Am I glib?
Very well then, I am glib.
I am hurt, and must protect myself.
I’ve built up a maze,
Of intricate ways,
Wrapped in a blanket of nonchalance.
Each delicate riddle,
That leads to the middle,
Connects to a trap door of some kind.
In no way capricious,
It’s easy to see each is,
Formed from scars on heart and mind.
Each test there to see,
If you’re really worthy,
To find your way through to my heart.
If you’ve no stamina,
Like old Indiana,
Then really, don’t even start.
If you spring a trap door,
You won’t see any more,
You’ll reach a point you just can’t pass,
Make the wrong choice,
Use the wrong inner voice,
You’ll just slide right out on your ass.
It’s been murmured around,
I don’t want my heart found,
Truth is though I just don’t want to fake it,
If that means I’m denied,
One who makes it inside,
That’s a chance, and I’ll just have to take it.
WOTD: mollycoddle
Dictionary.com defines a mollycoddle as a noun meaning: “a man or boy who is used to being coddled; a milksop.” Alternatively it can also be a verb used with an object, thereby meaning, “to coddle; pamper.” The World English Dictionary further states, “to treat with indulgent care…”
“Patrick Mercer, the Tory MP and former Army officer, hit out and told the Telegraph that tougher policing should be used in mainland Britain for the first time.
He said: ‘I find it strange that we are willing to use these sort of measures against the Irish yet when Englishmen step out of line and behave in this atrocious and appalling way, we are happy to mollycoddle them.'”
Passion and Oven Cleaner
When I’m perfumed and nicely dressed,
You rarely want some lovin’.
Why is it, then, you’re ready when,
I’m cleaning out the oven?
Furoshiki Book Carrier
Although I’m way too impatient to use this book carrying method, I find it aesthetically pleasing.
Shipping and Handling
My new furniture came yesterday!
From IKEA to me, hip hip hooray!
Well, actually, not right to me.
To the closest pick up place, you see,
Which is far away, or pretty far,
At least if you don’t have a car.
I could get a ride off of a friend,
But alas, it’s closed on the weekend.
It’s not a tragedy, but I’m annoyed.
This is just what I wanted to avoid.
Furniture’s here but I can’t get it.
Paid for delivery. Now I regret it.
Learn from this, folks. Having it sent,
Just way too bloody inconvenient.
Foreign Shores
Soon leaving this foreign shore,
To take off for a foreign shore,
Thing is I’m not really sure,
Which one’s foreign anymore.
WOTD: smörgåstårta
Today’s word literally means “sandwich cake” in Swedish. I have seen it translated as “savory tart” though, which to me sounds like a naughty woman.
This cake-like concoction, popular throughout Scandinavia, is comprised of layers of white sandwich bread, mayonnaise or some other spread, ham or shrimp and cucumber slices. It’s a popular fika dish here in Sweden. It’s difficult to overstate the importance of fika for Swedes. The word means coffee but it’s much more than just coffee. It’s like tea in the UK: a big deal and a whole meal.
Anyway, we were served this after today’s conference at work. Even though I’ve lived in Sweden for more than five years, this was actually the first time I’d ever had the opportunity to try this delicacy. Despite the popularity of the dish, I must say that it’s definitely not one of my favorite things to eat. Well, it’s not exactly awful, but the idea of a savory “cake” made out of white bread and mayonnaise just seems somehow wrong.
The one I tried had smoked salmon and shrimp and there was crushed pineapple between the slices of bread. I thought it was a bit weird.
Here's a picture of one made with shrimp, egg and caviar.
Random Misanthrope 