Dear Dominique Strauss-Kahn:

Dear Mr.Dominique Strauss-Khan:
Don’t go trying anything on,
Not sure if you’re guilty or not,
But we’ll find out when you’re on the spot,
IMF hands are dirty enough,
Without getting tangled in your sordid stuff,
Thought they were ugly as ugly as can get,
Burdening lands with unsupportable debt,
Turns out keeping bankers and business in beds,
Left a sense of power that inflated your heads,
But now you’ve time to think while sitting in jail,
Since an American judge wisely denied your bail,
The case will unfold, and we’ll soon get to see,
Since no doubt we’ll be watching on tv,
Whether the way that you think the game’s usually played,
Will get you off the hook with a hotel room maid.

Today’s conservatives

Apparently these stories are important enough to be on the front page of Faux News.

 Whatever happened to real news?  Even the liberal news outlets are no better, but Faux News seem to be particularly bad.  There are times I can’t tell whether I’m reading TMZ or the “most trusted name in news.”  Even more interesting is the fact that 74% of Republicans polled “trust” Faux News, which probably means that those “conservative” Republicans must love gossip, sex stories, and everything else.  Maybe it caters to their core values and beliefs, as long as they are in church on Sunday, everything is fine.  It wouldn’t be so bad if they just admitted that they click on these stories and that they love the segments where they interview Hooters waitresses about important issues like the economy or the war on terrorism.  Come on, just admit it, you love the stuff just as much as liberals, get off your high horses.

WOTD: tomfoolery

Today’s word is an old-fashioned noun that should be used more often, in my opinion. It’s been replaced with coarser phrases like “bullshit” or “assbanditery.” However, unlike bullshit and assbanditery, tomfoollery is supposed to be harmless silly fun. It’s defined as “foolishness, silliness, horseplay, monkeyshines.”

But while tomfoolery is meant to be silly and more or less harmless, it can be downright annoying. A recent example of political tomfoolery is President Obama having to produce his long form birth certificate in order appease the so-called birthers. He had this to say about the situation:

“We do not have time for this kind of silliness. We’ve got better stuff to do. I have better stuff to do. We’ve got big problems to solve, and I’m confident we can solve them, but we’re going to have to focus on them – not on this.”

Of course we all know now that the “better stuff” Obama was working was the kill-or-capture raid of Osama bin Laden’s fortified house in Abottabad, which ended in the death of Numero Uno on the FBI’s Most Wanted Fugitive List.

Because these events (the birth certificate episode and Osama bin Laden’s death) happened practically simultanously, they gave rise to a meme where the utter silliness of the first story is juxaposed against the seriousness of the other, arguably one of the most profoundly important historical events of the post 9/11 world.

So far this one is my favorite:

memes - Certified Win!

Sitting around making meme pictures is another example of tomfoolery.

American Recovery Sandwich

I’ve been down and out for the last couple of days.  A virus knocked me out, filled my throat with ulcers, and gave me a bad case of Montezuma’s Revenge.  Needless to say I’ve not been around on Random Misanthrope.

I’m back, kind of, and I praise part of my recovery to a sandwich that I invented.  I call it the American Recovery Sandwich.  If you haven’t eaten anything for days and lost over five pounds to diarrhea, this sandwich is just what you need to feel better.  Now I’m no nutritionist or medical professional, so I urge you to contact a professional before munching down on one of these.

Here’s what you do:

First, you will need to get a hotel steak or one of those thin steaks that are easily found in your local grocery store.  If you can’t find one, just ask your butcher, these are pretty cheap cuts of meat which suits me just fine.  After all, it’s an American Recovery Sandwich hahaha.  Sear it up on the grill or in a cast iron skillet, and use Canadian or Montreal steak seasoning.

Secondly, take a yellow onion, slice it up into rings, and brown it up in olive oil in a skillet.

Then take a slice of whole grain bread and toast it.  Smear it with horseradish cream.

Cut up the meat into thin slices and place them on the bread.  Top all of it with the onions.  Add a slice of cheddar cheese and put it in a microwave or an oven to melt the cheese.  Sprinkle Old Bay Seasoning on top and serve with two Kosher dill spears.  Bon Appétit!!!


WOTD: conflicted

Today’s word is a feeling, one that I think a lot of us are experiencing concerning the death of Osama bin Laden. To feel conflicted is to be full of conflicting and often contradictory emotions or impulses.

Upon hearing that Osama bin Laden, FBI’s number one most wanted bad guy, the one responsible for the atrocities of September 11, 2001, the July 7, 2005 bombings in London (among others) had been killed in a surgical military operation, well, one can’t help but jump for joy and shout, “YESSSS!!!!!!”

But wait, is that really an appropriate response? I mean, should one be filled with joy over the death of a fellow human being? Even one with such a defiantly uncompromising and completely distorted view of reality? Evil or not, he was still a man, who unfailingly believed he was doing God/Allah’s work by ridding the world of the oppressive infidels. Just like Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden hid himself away, and he held on to his misguided convictions until the very end. And like Hitler, he would rather die than be captured by the enemy. And thus he did.

The fate of Saddam Hussein was undoubtedly a fate he wished to avoid at all costs.

More on this later…

Bittersweet Thoughts on Bin Laden

One more bad guy bites the dust,
Yet the moment’s bittersweet,
When people whoop and cheer for blood,
The victory’s not complete,
When ideologies come to blows,
Push sometimes comes to shove,
We’re drawn onto the path of war,
Though we’d choose the path of love,
Lennon, Ghandi, Martin Luther King,
All had good points of course,
But the truth is sadly sometimes,
Force must be met with force,
That truth is somber, sobering,
And as such should be met,
Not with joy and pleasure,
But some measure of regret,
The hawks and doves will argue,
Neither one completely right,
There are times though that safety,
Must be shielded with might,
We wish for peace, and work for peace,
Still this must be reconciled,
With the fact that none would hesitate,
To give their life for their child.

…bin laden’s dirt nap

Hoo.  Hah.  Bin Laden is dead.

Oddly enough, it doesn’t seem to lessen the loss, horror and complete nightmare that is 09.11.  It’s not revenge.  There is no retribution.  How could there be retribution for the worst attack against our country?

There are three things that bother me right now:

  1. It took us over 10 years to do it.
  2. A bullshit war that destroyed all credibility in the arena of American foreign policy is still going on.
  3. Haters still gonna hate.

While the American attention span is not much greater than that of the ordinary house-fly, I have a distinct feeling that the blind hatred of Muslims will still be pervasive in our society.  I fear that we will never move beyond our xenophobic ways and still target the innocent.  I will be tremendously embarrassed by chest-thumping and flag waving of my fellow citizens as this is not an achievement.  An achievement would be smiting him in 2001.  An achievement would be getting our enemy without destroying other countries.

While it’s nice to see the evil dispatched to the gates of a non-existent hell, it is also nice to conduct oneself with a bit of humility. This admonishment is addressed directly towards the segment of American society that is now blasting Toby Keith at the top volume of its dated boombox.

Humility, folks.  Humility.  Think about it for a second before you rush to the streets screaming about our greatness.

AmericaFTW!: Baconnaise

At first I didn’t think this was even real, but it turns out that it is.  If there is one thing Americans are good at, it’s combining things, like hunting and drinking beer, peanut butter and jelly, or bacon and mayonnaise!  Om nom, nom!  And it’s Kosher too for our Jewish friends and family.  So, my fellow Americans, go out and buy yourself a jar of Baconnaise, your mouth will thank you!

AmericaFTW!: Texas Tater Twisters

My friends, as a newly-minted Americano, I bring to you yet another exciting series: AmericaFTW! AmericaFTW! will feature people, things, food, and stories that are uniquely American. People Europeans Russians Asians Asshats love to make fun of Americans and our culture, but little do they know that we have one of the longest running democracies, and we also rock!
Anyhow, today’s entry is a culinary delight from my YouTube friend Hilah Cooking!