Author Archives: blitzken

THE RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE

One starry night, when the moon was just right,
Drank the octopus and the pussycat,
When they were both were pie-eyed,
A fine hobbit they spied,
And at the same time said both “I’d hit that!”
So using their charms, tucked him under their arms
And carried him up to their room,
Where their lust took control,
Tentacles, tongue, and hole,
Took him to the edge of Mount Doom,
Eight arms and a tongue, and the night was just young,
There was nary a part left untouched,
There was many a groan, the hobbit held his own,
Though in moments a little nonplussed,
At the height of the action, a guttural reaction,
Each screaming to their deity,
Despite lack of coherence, a religious experience,
Orgasms had by all three!

Starbucks Beat Poetry

Starbucks mindfucks,
Superficial tit,
Here I sit,
Heartattack Mac amongst the hipsters,
Who’ve come to see and be seen,
Partake of a pretentious pricey coffeebean,
Balding bearded men adjusting giant lebanese scarves,
While young women with laptops look at pictures of themselves,
And I just melt into the corner with my black Americano,
Musing at the fusion of jazz and ego,
Smiling to myself.

STEP AWAY

sometimes you’ll see me step away,
I may, or perhaps may not say
I’ve chosen now to stand apart
because I am about to fart
to feel the flatulent caress
and I don’t want to cause distress
to make you pause and look about
wondering who let one out
pondering who was the master
of that particular crackblaster
I step aside through courteous thought
because I remember well when you did not!

Day Of The Dead

Allhelgons dag,
Day of the dead,
Thinking of things
I wish I’d said,
When You were here,
Before you passed away,
November first,
The days are dark,
Trees stand naked,
In graveyard and park,
Light a candle to your memory,
In the grey,
It was long ago,
When you left,
Still I feel sad and bereft,
As I visit with your soul,
Upon this day,
But seasons change,
Life goes on,
Much has happened,
Since you’ve gone,
I stand here with thoughts,
I’d like to say,
So I send them to you,
Lying there,
As I stand here,
In silent prayer,
Knowing in time,
I’ll also head your way,
Though not until,
I live my life through,
But I will die,
And when I do,
A candle and a visit,
Would not go astray.

Message from the Facebook Masters

(I recently tried to leave FB, and lasted a whole week. This is my imaginary response from the FB Masters, to the tune of Barenaked Ladies “One Week”)

“It’s been one week since you looked at me,
Deactivated yourself cuz you were angry,
Writing letters like a drama queen,
Thought  your luddite ways better than FB,
In five days you were abstinent,
Friends all saying “I posted, hey did you see?”
It’s okay, we’ve seen it all before,
We know we’ve got you by the short-and-curlies,
Two more days and you were back again,
You lasted one week, brave attempt, don’t be surly,
We’ll work you back into our marketing,
But don’t worry we don’t expect you to be sorry……”

THOUGHTS

You are not your thoughts,

Your thoughts aren’t you,

Not everything you think is true,

Your thoughts may give cause for reflection,

But that is quite another question,

One way to interpret it is this:

Your thoughts are self-analysis,

So if you receive them open ended,

You decide which ones are befriended,

Which thoughts you actively choose,

To reflect you, and your values,

It’s you that gives your thoughts traction,

Which ones then lead to action,

You may have a thought that you despise,

That doesn’t mean it’s where your heart lies,

Perhaps dark thoughts come about yourself,

You can leave those ones upon the shelf,

Thoughts are not right,

Thoughts are not wrong,

But sort them, and put them where they belong.