Would Jesus hand out pamphlets?

Some advice would be so nice.
I could really do with some,
About what to do when the,

Jehovah’s Witnesses come.
They always come in pairs,
In order to outnumber you.

And catch you off your guard,
Big smiles for disarming you.
All politeness: “Excuse me, Ma’am.”

But have you heard the Message?
The Good News about God’s plan,
For you, nothing to fear.

It’s all written down, in
This convenient pamphlet here.”
Since they really are polite,

It seems wrong, a disgrace,
To tell them to piss off.
Shut the door in their faces.

Their eyes and smiles so wide,
Sorry, but your little faith is
Much too small for God to fit inside.

3 thoughts on “Would Jesus hand out pamphlets?

  1. Ah, a problem that unites as all,
    People with pamphlets parroting a delusion,
    Arrive at your door and it’s never any fun.
    Thing is, if I recall,
    They refuse to accept a blood transfusion,
    So tell them to piss off, before you help them need one.

    • Hehehe…nice, one. So wicked. You know, there was one time I actually had a discussion with a JW for about an hour. We discussed some of the things that I mentioned here, such as how God (if he/she/it truly exists) is much too big for any one religion. He was by himself, though, so maybe he was a bit caught off guard. Turn about is fair play. Or he was bored.

      • When I grew up in the project there was a strict black. Baptist couple, Mr. and Mrs.Johnson, that lived across from us. Everyone else would tell the Jehovah’s to fuck off, but the Johnsons would seriously take them to task, fire and brimstone and the whole ball of wax – theology out the wing-wang. It was truly entertaining!

English, motherfucker, do you speak it? J/K - it's ok if you don't.

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