…north carolina equal pay day

Stop. Before you start making that blah-blah-blah motion with your hands and rolling your eyes, think about this: what if you made $.81 on the dollar based solely on your gender, your color or your sexual preference? What if you made $.81 on the dollar even if your peer who is doing the same work is making the full dollar? Would you be happy?

Much to my mother’s chagrin, I do not consider myself a feminist. I’m a humanist. Inalienable rights are exactly that and should not be subjected to wit, whimsy or even the precious Free Market.

I entered the workforce in 1986 and was very fortunate to land a part-time job in an office. After a year of working for the company, another part-timer was added. We had the same level of education (we were both students). I had seniority in so far as seniority goes (which isn’t saying much). My hourly wage was less than the noob’s. Alas, his plumbing is external and mine is internal.

The only instance in my entire life where I made more than my male counterparts was when I was working as a manager in the marine industry. Given that the marine industry isn’t exactly female friendly, this was quite an accomplishment. Or maybe it spoke more to my looking the then CEO in the eye and saying “If you want cheap labor, then you will have cheap labor. If you want good, if you want talent then you will pay me.” Since that freak of nature, I doubt I have been on par with any of my male colleagues.

I cannot accept that women should make less because we’re busy making babies. I cannot accept that women should make less because we are women. I cannot accept that anyone should make one cent less for doing the same damn job and, sometimes, doing it way better.

I appreciate salary banding. There are times where I’m not the most competent lass in the room and a colleague will rightfully deserve to make more than I do. There are times when I’m the competent one and I should rightfully earn more. All that said, women have been a dominant force in the workplace for a considerable amount of time. Don’t we deserve more than $.81 on the dollar? Haven’t we earned it? And why should we ask ourselves what we are doing wrong because we cannot achieve pay parity?

Governor Bev Perdue has proclaimed April 12th as “North Carolina Equal Pay Day.” I’m not the biggest fan of our Governor and I realize that this is a mostly empty gesture. But if it sparks debate, if it rouses the rabble, I’m all for it.

Haven’t we, as a society, evolved far enough that people should be compensated based solely on qualifications and performance, as opposed to gender and plumbing? And why is it that we find this an acceptable practice? Furthermore, why are we branded with the “feminazi” label for wanting what we rightfully earn? I’m not asking for conciliatory measures. I’m merely asking to be treated like a human.

Happy National Library Week 2011!

I always forget that technically the start of the week is Sunday. To me, Sunday marks the end of the week, because I have to be back at work on Monday. In my head, if I have to work on Monday, it’s the start of the week, not Day Two. The reason for this rant is to make you aware of National Library Week 2011, which runs from Sunday, yes Sunday, April 10 to Saturday, April 16th. In America National Library Week is promoted by the American Library Association, an organization I feel quite strongly about. The ALA is often embroiled in politics as it pertains to censorship. The ALA is very much pro-1st Amendment and against censorship, which is understandable. In fact, the ALA also sponsors Banned Books Week, which runs from September 24 to October 1st this year.

Photograph of three of Nevins Memorial Library's earliest librarians

The ALA’s stance on censorship pretty much echoes my own: If you don’t like it, don’t read it. If something offends you, then avoid it and don’t introduce your kids to it, but don’t ban it (unless it’s illegal). You see, self-control and self-censorship works best. I think the Golden Rule and Common Sense applies. That book that you like, perhaps the Bible, no doubt offends other people of another religious faith, how would you like it if somebody wanted to ban that?

The fact of the matter is that a public library, yes PUBLIC library, contains, and should contain, a myriad of books on a variety of subjects ─ some of which offends; some of which engages your critical thinking; and some that tickles your fancy. If libraries were to ban books that people found questionable, eventually there would be no books left, because there’s always somebody who is offended by something, or dislikes a particular book or subject. I applaud the librarians who stand up for the 1st Amendment and recognize that differing opinions are not always a bad thing…

Support your local public library!

The Burka Dance

Burkas in France,

Now don’t stand a chance,

And I’m not really sure where I stand,

I think quite liberally,

And I’d sure hate to see,

The flames of intolerance fanned,

Though it’s hard to refuse,

One’s own right to choose,

There’s one thing I don’t understand,

It’s not religion or race,

Burkas cover your face,

Could I wear one since I am a man?

Förlåt, min svenska är inte så bra…

The title of this post is Swedish for “Sorry, my Swedish isn’t that good.” This is something that I repeat constantly. Here’s why.

It will be hard for this to sound like anything other than woefully self-pitying and bitter, but this is something that has been bothering me for a while. I’ve posted about this on Facebook so this may be a bit of repetition for some of you.

I’m pretty embarrassed about the fact that even after living in Sweden for nearly six years, I still struggle with the language. My level of listening comprehension is fairly high, but carrying on a decent conversation is still difficult for me. It’s. Just. Really. Hard. I’m reminded of my shortcomings on a daily basis because all of the meetings and conferences at work are held exclusively in Swedish, and many of my Swedish colleagues speak to me only in Swedish. Fair enough, even though this is an international school that employs several teachers whose Swedish ability is mediocre at best. This uncompromising policy has really improved my Swedish immensely in the last two years.

The problem (if one could even consider it a problem) is that it’s really not essential to know Swedish to live in Sweden. Just about everyone here speaks English to some degree, and it’s usually easier to just use English with a Swede than to struggle to communicate in the native language. Most Swedes are delighted to meet a native English speaker and relish the opportunity to show off their English skills. Because of this it’s easy to become lackadaisical in learning Swedish. Therefore, English speakers tend not make any real effort to learn the language until they end up in a situation where they really need to know it.

Despite my pitiful but gradually improving ability, I must acknowledge that my colleagues have been wonderfully patient and supportive. Indeed, most teachers are.

Unfortunately, the people who make me feel really stupid are certain members of Swedish boyfriend’s family. My listening ability is actually quite good (as previously mentioned), but many of them speak way too fast. Others have the heavy guttural Gothenburg accent, which makes it hard to understand them. When they speak to me I might not give an immediate response because my brain is still trying to process what I just heard. I must have pretty confused look on my face during this pause. Then they try yelling the same thing to me thinking that’s somehow going to help. It usually just confuses and flusters me even more. When that doesn’t work they try talking to me in that patronizing “I’ve told you a thousand times” way that an adult talks to a child. It’s unpleasant.

What’s even worse is when I make a mistake and get ridiculed for it. The other day I was talking to Tobbe’s grandmother and I mispronounced one word. We were talking about his sister and what a talented photographer she is. “Hon har mycket talang” (She has a lot of talent) I said. But I had mispronounced the word ‘talang’ as ‘talång’ (pronounced ‘Ta LONG’) She laughed. And laughed. And laughed. Apparently she didn’t notice that I wasn’t laughing with her. I was mortified. Really humiliated. Being laughed at in a ridiculing way is one of the things I hate the most. I wanted to crawl into a hole in the ground and die.

Not being able to speak the language well is utterly frustrating for me because I’m a perfectionist. I really hate having to do something knowing it’s going to be a half-ass effort. Learning to speak a new language is hard enough without someone laughing at you whenever you make a mistake. I have so little confidence in my ability. Therefore, whenever I’m about to speak Swedish to someone I’ve just met, I have to apologize for the awfulness of it first. Then at least they’ve been forewarned and hopefully won’t be insulted by my hopeless but unintentional butchering of their precious language.

We are paranoid for you!

With a budget crisis looming in the United States, and the possibility that thousands of government workers will be furloughed, few people realize how much of an impact this will have on the people that are supposed to be paranoid for you. Yes my friends, I am talking about the people that work in the emergency management, disaster response, and public safety arena. The selfless bureaucrats that spend countless of sleepless nights planning for every eventuality, ranging from air crashes to terrorists striking the food supply of the United States. Terrorists in the Midwest, you say? Why yes, terrorists are everywhere, and they can strike at our very heart and soul… including our stomachs, at any time! Luckily for you, trained professionals are busy planning for this.

Consider this: In 2002, the World Health Organization (WHO) published a report urging governments to draw up farm-to-fork contingency plans to protect against terrorism using the food chain as a potentially devastating weapon. In 1991, 300,000 people in China contracted Hepatitis A from eating infected clams, just imagine how many people can be affected should a group of terrorists utilize chemical, biological or nuclear agents on our food supply.

These days Farmer Joe needs to not only worry about whether he has enough fertilizer for the season but also the possibility of some evil-doer slipping chemical agents into his milk vat. But have no fear, my fellow patriots, Uncle Sam has his finest people working on this. Or rather he had… Let’s stop this squabbling over the budget and get the paranoid people back to work! Your hamburger safety depends on it!

The British Prime Minister pledged to invest £650million in Pakistani schools

Today’s rant is about the British Government, which is most unusual for me because I generally keep those comments to myself but I am currently outraged so much so that I had to put fingers to keyboard.

A recent study by the UN’s education arm UNESCO revealed corruption is so rife that many classrooms, teachers and school children for which cash is being claimed have never existed. And, even if money pledged by David Cameron does end up in bona fide schools, they are at risk from the Taliban – who have already destroyed hundreds. The vile terrorists target girls as they do not believe women should be educated. And they even use children to carry bombs into class. Experts estimate some 5,000 children – some as young as seven – are trained as suicide bombers.

And how is it that Britain can afford such a generous offering of aide I hear you ask yourself, well that comes from the cash savings made from cuts to Britain’s Armed Forces – while Pakistan is spending £1.7billion on its own defences….not to mention our own education budgets has been slashed.

The Pakistani PM believes extremism is born out of illiteracy yet does nothing about it until the offer of free millions from the UK taxpayer via Cameron arrives. Why should WE pay for their inability to deal with extremism when their PM knows the reason why it is spreading? They can only afford six new Chinese submarines and 36 fighter aircraft because idiots like Cameron take our money and provides the things they should be providing.

Now don’t get me wrong I am aware Pakistan’s government has failed to provide its people with primary education, but for the country’s long-term stability surely it’s more important than spending on defence and security.

The UK will have no control of the curriculum in schools receiving funding, meaning taxpayers could see their money pumped into madrassas peddling extremism.

How do I explain to my bright 14 year old daughter, who is now questioning her further education because of ever increasing university costs that there will be no funding by our own government because we tax payers are sending £650m out to Pakistan for their children’s education!!!

What is this country coming to??

…handicapped parking spaces

No…it’s not what you think it’s going to be.

Our dear finned friend, Shark, requested a rant as my first post. Five minutes ago, I could have waxed moronic about how much I loathe WordPress, how CSS can fuck off and die until I re-read my handy-dandy manual and railed against fonts. Alas, I wasn’t in touch with my inner hate so I have to draw on an experience from Monday.

Years ago, my father decided to arbitrarily launch his bad self through his dashboard window. Six months of bed-ridden recovery later, he received his shiny, new hip. Bionic daddy – I has one! He moves around very well with the exception of a drop foot that can hinder his mobility from time to time. Even with this challenge, he has never filed for a handicap parking permit.

As I type this very post, my spine is deteriorating. The days where I cannot walk are few and far between but they are, without a doubt, hell. I will not file for a handicap parking permit.

You see…even those with mobility issues, be it intermittent or constant, reserve these precious spaces for those who truly need them.

The other day I had to loot the ATM. Kang’s Coiffure House requests that all tips for hairdressers be remitted in cash. I don’t carry cash. Ever. Not wanting to piss off the woman who could ruin my world for a very long time, I dragged myself to the ATM (or MAC machine for the Philadelphians). Imagine my surprise when I notice a spry, 20-something pull into the *only* handicapped parking space as I was retrieving my cabbage.

Not one to bite her forked tongue, I turned around, looked the asshat directly in the eye and…

Kang: Excuse me, sir. Are you handicapped? I didn’t see your placard.

Asshat: No. No I’m not.

Kang: Would you like to be?

Asshat: :stammers: Ermmmm…

Kang: :points at car: Really. So…you’re not handicapped and you’re parking where? You’re parking in a spot for the handicapped when there is a standard parking space available – right next to you. That’s stupid. Just stupid.

Asshat: No. You are. (really – this is the level of discourse)

Kang: No. I’m not stupid. I’m not the one wearing a Wal-Mart name tag.

If there is one thing that will drive me to the brink of causing a bar fight with a broken bottle, pissing on the meek is at the top of my list of things that enrage me. Unless it is a matter of life or death, there is no reason to overlook common consideration for the sake of convenience. None. Ever.

For whatever reason, I find myself absolutely fearless when it comes to douchebaggery. I realize that I may very well be on the receiving end of a slap or worse, yet that critical filter that keeps people from confronting others simply does not exist in my world.

If you treat others poorly and I bear witness to it, I’m going to say something. That’s just the way I roll.