We are paranoid for you!

With a budget crisis looming in the United States, and the possibility that thousands of government workers will be furloughed, few people realize how much of an impact this will have on the people that are supposed to be paranoid for you.  Yes my friends, I am talking about the people that work in the emergency management, disaster response, and public safety arena.  The selfless bureaucrats that spend countless of sleepless nights planning for every eventuality, ranging from air crashes to terrorists striking the food supply of the United States.  Terrorists in the Midwest, you say?  Why yes, terrorists are everywhere, and they can strike at our very heart and soul… including our stomachs, at any time!  Luckily for you, trained professionals are busy planning for this.

Consider this:  In 2002, the World Health Organization (WHO) published a report urging governments to draw up farm-to-fork contingency plans to protect against terrorism using the food chain as a potentially devastating weapon.   In 1991, 300,000 people in China contracted Hepatitis A from eating infected clams, just imagine how many people can be affected should a group of terrorists utilize chemical, biological or nuclear agents on our food supply.

These days Farmer Joe needs to not only worry about whether he has enough fertilizer for the season but also the possibility of some evil-doer slipping chemical agents into his milk vat.  But have no fear, my fellow patriots, Uncle Sam has his finest people working on this.  Or rather he had… Let’s stop this squabbling over the budget and get the paranoid people back to work!  Your hamburger safety depends on it!

3 thoughts on “We are paranoid for you!

  1. we need you out there to protect our butts Sharky, you deal with the US and I will work on DR from my neck of the woods and we will be good to go in any emergency.

  2. I read this morning that they came to a last-minute agreement and the government won’t be shutting down after all. I’ve been concerned about my mom since she works for the federal government, but thank god, now she and everyone else can go back to being paranoid on the non-federal employees’ collective behalf. Well, maybe not my mom. She works for the Fish and Wildlife Service. The only thing she gets paranoid about is endangered species.

English, motherfucker, do you speak it? J/K - it's ok if you don't.

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