Author Archives: Miss Kitten

Whatever. Let’s have a fucking lunch meeting.

At 12 ‘o clock I was literally on my way out of the building when Jonas informed me that we’re supposed to be having a lunch meeting. Oh great. My favorite kind of meeting. The Big Boss (the one that everybody hates) had come down all the way from Stockholm and wanted to discuss last week’s interviews with the school inspection people. Okay. Sure. Fine. I guess we absolutely have to do this right fucking now.

I was having such a great day at work too. Some of my colleagues and students and myself had spent the morning painting one of the school walls with different motifs and quotations, and having a really good time doing it. This was one of the student counsel’s projects. They wanted to decorate the school and got permission to paint a few walls. We worked on it until lunch time and then I got ready to leave since I had worked my scheduled hours for the day.

I was pretty eager to get the hell out of there too, since it was past my normal lunch time of 11:30 and I didn’t have time to eat any breakfast this morning. When this happens it’s usually not a big problem because I can grab a piece of fruit or something from the conference room and then have an early lunch around 11 or 11:30. Not today, however.

With my stomach as hollow as the Grand Canyon, I sat down and proceeded to watch everyone else eat lunch for the next hour. We each had to tell the Big Boss precisely what the school inspectors had asked us and what responses we gave during our interviews. He had all the English teachers go first so I was done after about ten minutes. I then sat there for the remaining 50 minutes not able to concentrate on what anyone else way saying (in Swedish, naturally) because I felt like I was about to pass out from hunger.

Then they wanted to have an after-work session at 5 ‘o clock later on and they wanted me to go. I said that I was only scheduled to work from 8 to 12 so I was going home. Yeah, but after-work is not considered part of working hours, they said. Duh. No, I said. I’m not coming back for that. Then when they started to press me further, I informed them rather loudly and irritably, that I really needed to leave because I hadn’t eaten yet and I REALLY NEEDED to eat.

I then stormed out of the building and headed home. Of course I had just missed both of my normal short cut methods of transport (bus and ferry) so I had to take the bloody tram. It doubles the time it takes to get home. When I got to where I change trams at Brunnsparken, I bought myself two doughnuts and gobbled half of one down immediately.

When I got home I ate the rest of the doughnuts and cracked open a Bacardi Breezer, even though it was only two in the afternoon. I’m feeling okay now. Doughnuts and booze did the trick.

Word of the Day: hopefully

Today’s word is the first in a special WOTD series I’ve decided to call Objectionable Words. The word hopefully is an adverb formed from the adjective hopeful. There’s nothing particularly wrong with the word hopefully, at least nowadays. The dictionary informs us that while the word used to be objectionable to usage purists (and let us not deny that it still is), apparently these days it’s considered an acceptable sentence modifier.

But I just don’t like it, okay? It’s one of those words that debases the English language. It’s basically a lazy way of saying, “I’m hopeful that…” or “I hope…”

Examples:

Hopefully the weather will clear up later on today.

Versus:

I hope the weather clears up later on today.

More Boring Grammar Stuff

Hope is a noun; it’s an emotion, like happiness. It can be formed into an adverb by adding adjective-forming suffix “ful” and then the adverb-forming suffix “ly.” However, the noun-forming “ness” suffix does not allow the word happiness to be further formed into an adverb. This is one of the annoying inconsistencies with English grammar. “Happinessly” is not a word, although happily most certainly is.

More on that later…

My Favorite Thing

For those who love to read,
Then a Kindle’s what you need.
It’s the coolest thing I’ve got,
And I use it quite a lot.
It’s not overpriced and sad,
Like some slick and white iPad.
Oh, my precious Kindle reader,
Undisputed market leader!
It holds three thousand books,
And I love the way it looks.
I charge it once a month at most,
Which is surely worth a boast.
I just really want to sing,
About how I love this thing.
By now you must want one,
So come on and join the fun!

Word of the Day: bliss

Today’s word is another feeling, more or less the antonym of the word I discussed in an earlier post. Bliss is defined as a state of supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment. In abstract terms, that is. The dictionary defines bliss but it doesn’t discuss what it actually is.

But how could it? Bliss is a very subjective thing and nothing and no one can really tell you how to get it.

You just have to take the late mythologist Joseph Campbell‘s advice and “follow your bliss.” Of course you have to figure out what your bliss is before you can start following it…

So I’ll open this discussion up to the group. What’s blissful to you?

I’ll go first.

Sitting in the sun next to the sea on a warm but breezy afternoon always puts me into a state of bliss. However, sitting with my friends at a table holding up many pints of beer is another blissful experience, albiet a completely different one.

Okay, your turn.

…until next time.

Word of the Day: nerds and geeks and dorks, oh my….

There are a lot of nerd-geek-dork pages on the internet. Examples can be found here, here, and at this page, where the differences between the three are illustrated with a venn diagram. These three terms are often used interchangeably, and quite erroneously, by the ignorant populars and other stupids who are just too cool use Wikipedia. Therefore, as someone who has never been cool and easily fits into all three categories (depending on the situation), I thought I’d try my hand at explaining the differences between the three.

As a service to all the cools, of course.

At the top of the hierarchy is the nerd. A nerd usually possesses a particular aptitude for engineering, science, or computer-related stuff. For example, a computer-type nerd knows everything about computers and can tell you what every single part of a computer does. He or she can build you a computer from the bottom up without looking at any instructions. Nerds can solve any engineering-related problem. Additionally, nerds are often highly educated and have remarkable memories. They have skills that are highly desirable, marketable, and bankable. Thus, many nerds are rich.

Somewhere in between the dork and nerd is the geek. One thing to keep in mind is that nerds can also be geeks, but not all geeks can be nerds. While a geek might possess an encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek, as well as an extensive collection of Star Wars action figures, he’s usually unemployed and spends most of his time playing World of Warcraft and alphabetizing his collection of Dragonlance novels. His own knowledge is too obscure to be of any practical value, so when his computer crashes he has to seek out help from a nerd.

Finally, at the bottom of the pile are the pure dorks. A dork is someone who does not possess any skills whatsoever. He’s into stuff that even geeks would consider a bit too geeky. A typical dork might collect lunch boxes. He is so socially awkward that the only friends he has are other dorks. Napoleon Dynamite is often cited as an example of the typical dork, but I would argue that his sweet dance moves move him up into the geek category.  Maybe even all the way up to nerd.

Until next time.

Why, indeed.

I’m often asked by folks I’ve met,
A question I’ll not soon forget.
“So, why did you come here?” they say,
It’s much better in the USA.
California’s warm and bright,
While Sweden’s cold and dark as night.
The average Swede is icy too,
Might as well be a blonde igloo.
I see their point, and must confess,
I sometimes miss the old US.
But the fact is that I’m now stuck here,
So stop this torment and get me a beer.

Word of the Day: sorrow

Today’s word is a feeling. It’s similar to sadness but it has a different quality. Sadness is fleeting and shallow and easy to overcome. Tripping into a mud puddle while walking home in a downpour with no umbrella might make you sad. But a hot bath and a steaming mug of hot chocolate is all it takes to make your sadness disappear.

Sorrow, on the other hand, is not like tripping into a mud puddle.

Sorrow is like sinking into a deep inky black ocean. Its blackness envelops you as it pulls you down, down, down to the bottom.

The expression “drowning in sorrow” is a fairly accurate description of what it feels like. Often it takes a fully-mounted rescue operation to pull you out of it. But just remember that when you emerge from that deep ocean of pure sorrow, you’ll have a greater understanding and appreciation of pure joy.

“Sorrow is tranquillity remembered in emotion.”
Dorothy Parker

Kang and Kate

Our scribbling sister is burying her best friend today, and I think we’re all in a solemn and reflective mood because of it. When times are hard we try comfort one another as best we can, but we may not always have the words. Sometimes there simply are no words.  But we’re here nonetheless. I never met Kate but it’s obvious that she meant the world to Kang.

Anyway, I’ll be shutting up now and letting the words of a much better poet take over:

Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public
doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good

W.H. Auden

To my cat: a love poem

I love your precious little nose.
The way you lick between your toes.
I love each little noise you make,
And play with toys until they break.
I know it’s simply useless.
I cannot resist your cuteness.
It’s just so funny and so sweet,
When you stand on your hind feet.
I love every single tiny claw.
I’m wrapped around your little paw.