Yeah, I Shed

Yeah, I shed,
Okay I said it.
It’d near define me if I let it,
For I can’t deny my birthday suit,
Is irreversably hirsute,
I’m well blessed by the Gods of Hair,
And it does tend to get everywhere,
I do my best to primp and fuss,
Get groomed at “Gorillaz R Us”,
Still I find these fluffy mounds,
Seems my shedding knows no bounds,
With beds it’s found both on and under,
On bathroom floors (though that’s no wonder),
But not confined to my own dwelling,
The scale of my shedding’s telling,
It’s been found in places near and far,
There may be some just where you are,
It’s been found on the forest floor,
A few strands up on Mount Rushmore,
Here and there some bits that ladies keep,
In the Falklands it’s been found on sheep,
Tough to spot there in Arabia,
But it sure stands out in Scandanavia,
There’s been a rumour I can’t scuttle,
They found some up on the space shuttle,
It’s even been found on the great wall of China,
And in livingrooms in Raleigh, North Carolina.

19 thoughts on “Yeah, I Shed

  1. I love the word hirsute. It’s so Shakespearean.

    “I’m not saying thy vagina is hirsute, but it looketh like thou hast Buckwheat in a leglock.”
    (Stephen Lynch in the song “Medieval Bush”)

    • Hahaha, that’s wonderful! I actually remember the first time I heard it. Around 1982 I was working as clerical support in the security section of the South Central postal plant in Toronto. One of the guards, a smarmy little know it all, John Kirk, came up and told me I was very hirsute.

  2. Haha…I see you’ve selected your “hairy” piece as well. Not hairpiece, that is. Obviously you don’t need one. 🙂

English, motherfucker, do you speak it? J/K - it's ok if you don't.

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