Natural Beauty

With arms held high, she cheers
the lastest Eurovision Song Contest number.

With arms held high,
her natural armpits displayed
in all their shockingly unshaven glory.

The video becomes viral on YouTube.

She is called disgusting, repulsive,
unhygenic, and worst of all, unsexy.

She probably doesn’t shave her
pubic area either.

Or her legs.


How dare she?

Doesn’t she know that
women are supposed to remove
all of their hair, apart
from what’s on the top of their heads?

And their eyebrows. But those should be
meticulously shaped, plucked or waxed.

At least today.

“So what’s with the eyebrows?”
I was repeatedly asked by students
when I took them to see a Frida Kahlo exhibit.

In those days in Mexico, thick bushy eyebrows were
considered sexually attractive.

“Really?? Gross!!!”

But armpit hair? That’s inexcusible.
That’s outrageous.

And as I get ready for another
painful sesson of waxing and plucking
of extraneous facial hair,
I wonder how it got that way.

Yeah, I Shed

Yeah, I shed,
Okay I said it.
It’d near define me if I let it,
For I can’t deny my birthday suit,
Is irreversably hirsute,
I’m well blessed by the Gods of Hair,
And it does tend to get everywhere,
I do my best to primp and fuss,
Get groomed at “Gorillaz R Us”,
Still I find these fluffy mounds,
Seems my shedding knows no bounds,
With beds it’s found both on and under,
On bathroom floors (though that’s no wonder),
But not confined to my own dwelling,
The scale of my shedding’s telling,
It’s been found in places near and far,
There may be some just where you are,
It’s been found on the forest floor,
A few strands up on Mount Rushmore,
Here and there some bits that ladies keep,
In the Falklands it’s been found on sheep,
Tough to spot there in Arabia,
But it sure stands out in Scandanavia,
There’s been a rumour I can’t scuttle,
They found some up on the space shuttle,
It’s even been found on the great wall of China,
And in livingrooms in Raleigh, North Carolina.