I’m always glad to see a new product from 5.11 Tactical, and as usual, they don’t disappoint. The TFL (Tactical Footwear Laces) series is a new look at the old concept of tying your shoes. Designed from the ground up by 5.11 engineers with input from US Navy SEALs, Russian Spetsnaz, British SAS, Israeli cooks, Al Quaeda terrorists, Cub Scouts, Swedish blogger Blondinbella and the cast of Jersey Shore, the TFL series were field tested for almost four hours over the rugged terrain of a warehouse floor in Modesto, CA.

While conventional laces are only concerned with keeping your footgear tied, TFLs are part of a complete tactical system. Made from mil-spec 550 parachute cord, TFLs contain multiple strands that can be unraveled and deployed in any number of tactically tactical ways. Need to snare a rabbit? Make a tripwire for a grenade/mason jar booby trap? Tie down your trunk after a particularly fruitful trip to IKEA? Tie up a blonde Swedish blogger? With TFLs, you’ll always be prepared. Plus, with a piece of turquoise or a .50 cal casing you can turn them into a bolo tie! Never be caught unprepared for an impromptu dinner party again!

Not only are TFLs functional, they’re aesthetically pleasing, too. They come in every camo pattern in use by every major military in the world for the past 50 years (because who’d want to be the idiot wearing Flecktarn BDUs with Alpenflage laces on their boots?) as well as basic black, day-glo orange, and pink paisley.

I bought a pair to try, and man do my feet feel tactical now. I even showed them to Kang, who said “that’s nice dear, now go mow the damn lawn!”