Here I was in my nice little suburban hell, thinking all was right with the world. Soccer moms in gigantic SUVs trucking around their overprivileged kids, smug Republican dads forwarding racist anti-Obama emails, illegals blowing leaves. Then, out of nowhere, I run a cross some caped fucktardian on the internet inconveniencing electrons with their infantile rants. Yeah, I bet you think you’re so fucking awesome with your Swedish car, speaking all kinds of foreign languages no one gives a shit about and getting all worked up about how everyone sucks except you. Oh, Republicans are stupid, huh? The health care system is fucked up?  You have some kind of deep thoughts to share with us? News flash Jack Handey,  you’re not that special. Everyone’s got a fucking blog these days. Hell, I’M a suburbanite with a blog who rants about Republicans, health care and stupid people, all while sharing deep insights to the human condition that I observe while speaking to foreigners and driving around in my Saab.

Oh, wait…