Self Medication

I live “in the moment”,
Sometimes near joy,
But often in torment,
An emotional decoy,
Never knowing,
How I’ll feel next,
Minute to minute,
I can rise, I can fall,
Which is why I’m drawn,
To drugs and alcohol,
Despite their downside,
How bad they can be,
My own emotions quake,
With unpredictability,
I know with drugs and alcohol,
Just where they will take me.