I need a technological miracle…

I’m slightly inundated.

Apparently, I’m supposed to be in three places at once this afternoon so I’d appreciate any advice or instructions on how to open a rift in the space-time continuum. I need to arrange this for the hour of 16:00 GMT+1 when I’m supposed to be teaching a lesson, offering extra help and tutoring for ninth graders and attending a staff meeting.

I also have a stack of national exams that keeps increasing in size. Right now I have about a hundred exams to grade, but by the end of this week it will have increased to 300. The deadline for getting all these exams graded is the 22nd, but I also have a full time teaching schedule to maintain. Therefore, additionally I’ll need further instructions on how to stop time for at least a week in order to get this done on time.

If you cannot offer me any assistance in breaking the laws of physics then some booze will be greatly appreciated.