America Day Eh?

Ah, my friends, you’se Americans,
Yes, yes, you know, you’re the ones,
Who sometimes with some wit and luck,
Get mistaken for a Canuck,
Ah, just teasing now, don’t go smashing,
I know ya’ll take some bashing,
You’re always welcome up our way,
If there’s conscription in the U.S.A.,
We love you dearly, and we’ve got your back,
Here’s a Canadian flag, for your rucksack!

The Fourth

Many people wonder how and why,
We celebrate the Fourth of July.
What are we really celebrating?
It’s certainly worth investigating.
What’s being an American all about?
They say we kicked the British out.
But did we gain our independence,
Or did the British just abandon us?
Saying, take the bloody colony then!
And don’t ever ask for help again.
Whatever the reason, it’s our day,
Celebrated in the traditional way.
With big emotions, and big explosions.
And lots of alcohol-fueled commotion.
Obnoxious and big and brash and loud.
It’s what we are and we’re damn proud.
Don’t mess with us. Don’t even try.
Have a Happy Fucking Fourth of July.