Modern Absolution

In olden days
the Church sold
sin offset credits
called Indulgences.
Essentially,
after life insurance
in the form of
coupon vouchers
for debaucheries
yet to be committed.
Rates were determined
by severity of sin.
Subject to terms
and conditions
of course.
Now-a-days,
such vouchers
are no longer sold.
Instead,
they are exchanged
for penitent tasks.
Like, for example:
Climbing the Sacred Steps.
That’s good for
seven whole years
off your time
in Purgatory.
And as long as you’re
“truly penitent
and contrite”
you can get
an Indulgence
for following
the Pope’s Twitter feed.
Got to keep up
with the times
after all.

2 thoughts on “Modern Absolution

    • Thanks, indeed! Though I have to credit the genius of Eric Idle for that, from the film “Nuns on the Run”:

      “Some con men sell life insurance. The church sells afterlife insurance. It’s brilliant! Everyone thinks you might need it, and no one can prove you don’t.”

English, motherfucker, do you speak it? J/K - it's ok if you don't.

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