Forecast calls for sun. It should be sunny, but it Rains disappointment.
Mine are just like his.
His pale blue eyes.
Once so clear. So bright.
Beautiful and electric.
Now faded and dull.
Cold blue discs floating
In a bloodshot sea.
An icy ocean chummed
For sharks beneath.
Blood vessels floating
And bobbing like dead fish
On the surface.
The last time I looked
In those eyes, in that sea,
My heart froze.
And then it burned.
For there was his soul
At the very bottom.
Rock bottom.
Unable to surface.
Drowning.
Save me, it whispers
Help me.
So in I’ll dive.
And down I’ll sink.
Past the bloody surface.
Into the cold darkness
To find his soul.
I’ll hold it tight and swim.
And the sea will become clearer.
And bluer, sparkling blue.
And we’ll emerge.
His soul and mine.
Together.
And the sea,
Will be beautiful again.
His eyes as pale blue,
As a summer sky.
Random Misanthrope 
Geez that’s a gripping piece!
Thanks! It’s like nothing I’ve ever attempted to write before. My own little fantasy adventure.
I love your poetry but this one is just… I can’t even describe the well of emotion it created in me. I’m not faced with this situation but your words made me feel as if I was the one swimming, holding tight, to a soul. Gripping is a good description. I agree with Blitzken.
Thank you so much! This blog has been an incredible journey for me since it has allowed me to really practice and hone my skills. And of course the feedback has been invaluable. Someone suggested I try to scare myself with my imagery so that’s what I was trying to achieve here.
I love this poem. There is a certain element of defeat when you get older, but the message, at the end, of how we can be happier for the both of us is so touching.
This is wondeful poetry……………with such feelings……great work
This is a brilliant piece of writing. It stirred up a lot of emotions for me, reminded me of my grandad in the later stages of alzheimers before he passed. You hit the nail on the head
Thank you so much!
Beautiful and touching write. Very vivid and moving.
my poem this week: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/08/25/she-sat-alone-2/
Wow, wow & wow!!! This is masterfully penned. It’s filled with so many vivid images, “So in I’ll dive. And down I’ll sink. Past the bloody surface. Into the cold darkness To find his soul.” You had me mesmerised all the way through and I didn’t want it to end. I think this is worthy of some sort of recognition. Perhaps you could enter it in a competition. Well done!
Goodness, I don’t know what to say. Thank you so much!
This is incredible … I totally related … as this is exactly what happened the last vocal moment I had with my dad … his pleading eyes and voice begging for me to help as he succumbed to the incredible pain his last few days. Oh how I prayed and tried:
So in I’ll dive.
And down I’ll sink.
Past the bloody surface.
Into the cold darkness
To find his soul.
I’ll hold it tight and swim.
And the sea will become clearer.
And bluer, sparkling blue.
And we’ll emerge.
His soul and mine.
He must be thinking of me … this is the 2nd poem within the hour … that gave me a message!! Thank you for sharing!
Wow, that’s amazing! I wrote this about a week ago when some of the Random writers were discussing the problems of addiction and the pain of seeing dear friends and family fall off the wagon. I sat down and started writing this and the words just came to me. The idea of my dad’s soul being lost at the bottom of a cold dark sea was a brilliant flash of inspiration for me. For I know he’s still there. He’s just submerged.
Really nice write.. I don’t know if this makes sense… but it feels like something moving so slow.. yet still so terribly restless and anxious.. enjoyed it 🙂
Here’s my poem for the week: http://wp.me/p1hI0l-7w
Who cannot identify with another lover of purr kids.
Your poem for the rally is very deep (no pun intended). I found it carrying me down with it.
this hits home.
🙂
WooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooW!!!
Oh my…I’m honored, really touched and so pleased that so many of you liked this piece. As you probably already guessed, this is a deeply personal piece. It came from a place deep inside me that’s filled with frustration and pain. Thank you all, so very much.
It gets more moving everytime I read it.
Thank you, Ken. I still find myself weeping by the time I get to the end.
This is a very special poem, very moving and beautiful. You have found the essence of poetry here.
Thanks, Ina. 🙂 *hugs*
Quite nice. Yeah, really good. I like blue eyes, sad I don’t have myself. 😉
It was scintillating to read your poem where you have express the emotions through a range of colors.
Your poem was extremely expressive yet painful. I followed you there into that sea and felt the frustration of your journey. The waves are incredibly tumultuous during these types of storms. I pray you weather them well, my friend. May you be blessed.
http://kaysalady.wordpress.com/2011/08/30/my-mind-is-frozen/
A stunning poem – I loved it 😉
Beautifully penned. I kind of missed my dad right away.
There is nothing in the world that I wouldn’t want to miss; to be with my dad once again.
I got a little nostalgic with this one…
happy rally!
Thank you all for your feedback and support! This is one my favorite poems that I have written, and therefore I’m simply over the moon that I have won the Perfect Poet Award for Week 50. I am truly honored to find myself among such talented writers and poets.
http://promisingpoetsparkinglot.blogspot.com/2011/08/perfect-poets-award-for-poets-rally.html